You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
