I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Mom said you looked used
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
