we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
