So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i came on her dog
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
