she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
