i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
