I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
