the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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