i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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