Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
