My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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