I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
