No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
God, I missed his penis.
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