Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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