do herpes really smell.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
