it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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