dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
