It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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