so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she told me i tasted like america
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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