the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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