my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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