i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
