There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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