I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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