Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
