The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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