So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize