Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
