he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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