Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
