i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
