Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
