His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
