she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
