you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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