the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
