Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
