this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
