Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
