how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
