i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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