Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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