i was born a porn star she said
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
