Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
