good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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