Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
