what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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