Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
