Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can still taste the Jรคger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
