her vagine was all disorganized.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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