I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
