He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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