That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
